Accepting Full Responsibility.....
Do you know any people like this?
They have an excuse for everything.
Nothing is ever their fault.
They blame everything bad in their life on someone or something else.
They either choose intentionally or unintentionally to conveniently ignore their role in their outcomes if things don’t go their way.
Their self-image can’t even fathom the possibility that they may be the primary reason that they are not achieving the things they want in life.
It’s called the “Blame Game”, and most unsuccessful people are pro’s at playing it.
They blame the economy, they blame their boss, their employees, the government, the stock market, the real estate market, their friends, their spouse, of course, their parents, and anyone else who is convenient at the time.
But for sure, they absolutely never blame themselves.
There are Universal Laws of Nature that we all live by. There is simply no getting around that.
We live in a world of cause and effect. Everything you say or do will cause an effect.
The best analogy I know of refers to a “Tree of Life”.
On this tree grows fruits. In the real world, these fruits are our “results” in life.
We look at our fruits, our results, and we don’t like them. So what do we tend to do?
We put all of our attention on these fruits, don’t we?
Except for one little thing.
What is it that actually produces these particular fruits?
It’s the roots that produce these fruits. If you aren’t happy with your fruits, you will have to work on your roots.
Happiness is a result. Success is a result.
If you aren’t achieving success in your life, that’s not a problem. It’s a symptom. Being unsuccessful is a result, what is the root cause?
When I’m coaching someone, I tell them that 10% of life is what happens to you. 90% is how you respond.
And the most important first step in moving yourself along the road to success is to accept FULL RESPONSIBILITY for everything that happens in your life. Stop blaming everything on others.
I have known many extremely successful people in my life. I try as best I can to learn from them and model them. And I have never seen a truly successful person who was a blamer. It just never happens.
On the other hand, I see almost daily, people who have poor incomes, poor marriages, poor health, and of course, none of it is their fault.
Despite the fact that the divorce rate is over 50%, have you ever met anyone who admitted that they were the primary reason the relationship failed? Never! It’s always the other person’s fault. They are simply the poor victim.
If they were totally honest with themselves and looked at the situation objectively, they would realize that they contributed to the breakup. Maybe they took their spouse for granted. Maybe they abused their spouse verbally or physically. Maybe they failed to show their spouse the love and support they needed. Maybe they gave up trying to make the relationship something special. Either they were doing things that they shouldn’t have, or weren’t doing things that they should have.
Regardless, it’s rare that any breakup of a relationship is 100% one persons fault and 0% the other. But you will never get anyone to admit to it. It’s always the other person’s fault. Period, end of story.
Suppose you decided you wanted to learn how to have a successful Internet marketing business. You do some research and find the best Internet marketing “guru” out there.
This highly respected expert is having a camp for a weekend where you will get in depth training on how to create a successful Internet business. Not only is his camp expensive, you also have to travel to another city to attend. But, you go for the weekend, and you have a terrific time. You learn a lot, make new friends, and have a lot of fun.
At the end of the weekend, you are left with instructions on exactly what to do, how to do it, how long it will take to get the business cashflowing.
But like most of the people who attended, you go home and either you don’t bother doing anything, or you give it a halfhearted effort. You go back to your regular routine. Within a short period of time, you forget everything you learned at the camp.
Later, a friend asks you how you’re doing with your internet business. Guess what most people will say?
“What a rip off! I spent a ton of money, wasted a weekend at a camp, and I haven’t earned a penny. That Internet expert is garbage, stealing money from weak minded, gullible people like me. He’s laughing all the way to the bank. I’m going to let everyone know what a joke he is. It’s not my fault that I don’t have a successful Internet business, it’s all his!”
Meanwhile, one of the other students who attended the exact same weekend camp went home and TOOK MASSIVE ACTION. He did what he was supposed to do, when he was supposed to do it, for as long as he was told to do it. He even paid to have a local web techie come once a week to keep him on track. After a while, he got to be pretty good. Unfortunately, he was one of the few that were actually committed to doing whatever it took to learn how to have a successful Internet business. While others WANTED to have a successful business, he COMMITTED to having one. Notice the difference?
So, the real question is this. What do you want in your life? What are you committed to?
Until you are truly committed, you will not achieve it. Success in anything important in your life is achievable. But it’s only achievable if you commit to doing the right things for the right amount of time to make them a reality.
If it were easy, everyone would be rich, everyone would be healthy, everyone would be in great shape, everyone would have the perfect marriage, everyone would be the best parent, the greatest friend, the perfect son/daughter, etc., etc.
But success is rare. And it’s rare because it isn’t easy. It takes work. It takes time. It takes commitment. And we live in a society where very few people are willing to go that route. Virtually everyone wants immediate gratification. If they can’t have what they want immediately, if they actually have to put time and energy and money into accomplishing their goals, they’re gone. It’s not their fault their unsuccessful, it’s got to be someone else’s.
So, be sure you accept full responsibility for your life, for all of your successes and all of your failures.
Once you do, you will feel a lot better about yourself, and you will begin to rise into the top 5% of all people, those rare few that are living the life of their dreams.
Namaste.
Jeff
They have an excuse for everything.
Nothing is ever their fault.
They blame everything bad in their life on someone or something else.
They either choose intentionally or unintentionally to conveniently ignore their role in their outcomes if things don’t go their way.
Their self-image can’t even fathom the possibility that they may be the primary reason that they are not achieving the things they want in life.
It’s called the “Blame Game”, and most unsuccessful people are pro’s at playing it.
They blame the economy, they blame their boss, their employees, the government, the stock market, the real estate market, their friends, their spouse, of course, their parents, and anyone else who is convenient at the time.
But for sure, they absolutely never blame themselves.
There are Universal Laws of Nature that we all live by. There is simply no getting around that.
We live in a world of cause and effect. Everything you say or do will cause an effect.
The best analogy I know of refers to a “Tree of Life”.
On this tree grows fruits. In the real world, these fruits are our “results” in life.
We look at our fruits, our results, and we don’t like them. So what do we tend to do?
We put all of our attention on these fruits, don’t we?
Except for one little thing.
What is it that actually produces these particular fruits?
It’s the roots that produce these fruits. If you aren’t happy with your fruits, you will have to work on your roots.
Happiness is a result. Success is a result.
If you aren’t achieving success in your life, that’s not a problem. It’s a symptom. Being unsuccessful is a result, what is the root cause?
When I’m coaching someone, I tell them that 10% of life is what happens to you. 90% is how you respond.
And the most important first step in moving yourself along the road to success is to accept FULL RESPONSIBILITY for everything that happens in your life. Stop blaming everything on others.
I have known many extremely successful people in my life. I try as best I can to learn from them and model them. And I have never seen a truly successful person who was a blamer. It just never happens.
On the other hand, I see almost daily, people who have poor incomes, poor marriages, poor health, and of course, none of it is their fault.
Despite the fact that the divorce rate is over 50%, have you ever met anyone who admitted that they were the primary reason the relationship failed? Never! It’s always the other person’s fault. They are simply the poor victim.
If they were totally honest with themselves and looked at the situation objectively, they would realize that they contributed to the breakup. Maybe they took their spouse for granted. Maybe they abused their spouse verbally or physically. Maybe they failed to show their spouse the love and support they needed. Maybe they gave up trying to make the relationship something special. Either they were doing things that they shouldn’t have, or weren’t doing things that they should have.
Regardless, it’s rare that any breakup of a relationship is 100% one persons fault and 0% the other. But you will never get anyone to admit to it. It’s always the other person’s fault. Period, end of story.
Suppose you decided you wanted to learn how to have a successful Internet marketing business. You do some research and find the best Internet marketing “guru” out there.
This highly respected expert is having a camp for a weekend where you will get in depth training on how to create a successful Internet business. Not only is his camp expensive, you also have to travel to another city to attend. But, you go for the weekend, and you have a terrific time. You learn a lot, make new friends, and have a lot of fun.
At the end of the weekend, you are left with instructions on exactly what to do, how to do it, how long it will take to get the business cashflowing.
But like most of the people who attended, you go home and either you don’t bother doing anything, or you give it a halfhearted effort. You go back to your regular routine. Within a short period of time, you forget everything you learned at the camp.
Later, a friend asks you how you’re doing with your internet business. Guess what most people will say?
“What a rip off! I spent a ton of money, wasted a weekend at a camp, and I haven’t earned a penny. That Internet expert is garbage, stealing money from weak minded, gullible people like me. He’s laughing all the way to the bank. I’m going to let everyone know what a joke he is. It’s not my fault that I don’t have a successful Internet business, it’s all his!”
Meanwhile, one of the other students who attended the exact same weekend camp went home and TOOK MASSIVE ACTION. He did what he was supposed to do, when he was supposed to do it, for as long as he was told to do it. He even paid to have a local web techie come once a week to keep him on track. After a while, he got to be pretty good. Unfortunately, he was one of the few that were actually committed to doing whatever it took to learn how to have a successful Internet business. While others WANTED to have a successful business, he COMMITTED to having one. Notice the difference?
So, the real question is this. What do you want in your life? What are you committed to?
Until you are truly committed, you will not achieve it. Success in anything important in your life is achievable. But it’s only achievable if you commit to doing the right things for the right amount of time to make them a reality.
If it were easy, everyone would be rich, everyone would be healthy, everyone would be in great shape, everyone would have the perfect marriage, everyone would be the best parent, the greatest friend, the perfect son/daughter, etc., etc.
But success is rare. And it’s rare because it isn’t easy. It takes work. It takes time. It takes commitment. And we live in a society where very few people are willing to go that route. Virtually everyone wants immediate gratification. If they can’t have what they want immediately, if they actually have to put time and energy and money into accomplishing their goals, they’re gone. It’s not their fault their unsuccessful, it’s got to be someone else’s.
So, be sure you accept full responsibility for your life, for all of your successes and all of your failures.
Once you do, you will feel a lot better about yourself, and you will begin to rise into the top 5% of all people, those rare few that are living the life of their dreams.
Namaste.
Jeff
posted by Jeff Fagin at 5:45 AM
3 Comments:
Jeff,
I think our own personal pride prevents us from being able to accept full responsibility for every single thing that happens in our life. Especially when something doesn't go the way we wanted it to.
Jeff
For the majority it is a fast paced, instant gratification, lack of resposibility society. Hurray for the minority.
Larry E.
I can say that committment really works. I had a new owner take over the dealership I work at. He never said anything for about 5 months and things were so-so. One day I had a heart to heart talk with him and he observed our committment to the company. Since that day I have focused and committed to myself I would become better than he suggessted. I sold more than double the previous year and was awarded the number 3 sales award the same year.
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